Starting to date again can feel awkward and challenging when you have kids. Finding the time, explaining to your kids where you are going, and keeping a positive mindset can be stressful and cumbersome. Yet it can be equally fun and fulfilling. To help you on your dating journey and to make sure you have a positive experience, here is everything you need to know about dating as a single parent:

Start with Self-Reflection

Of course, no one should jump right into the dating scene without a few moments of self-introspection. Are you ready to juggle parenting and a new relationship? Knowing what you have to offer and what is required from you emotionally will help you when looking for a compatible partner who will appreciate your situation.

Assess Your Personal Readiness for Dating

• Assess whether you are over your last relationship or whether you are on a rebound.
• Decide what your motives for seeking love are and whether they are selfish or if you can truly offer something to a new love interest.
• Think about whether you and your children are ready for the demands of dating as a single parent. Consider the time, attention, and emotions that will be required.

Identify Your Needs and Wants

• List the qualities you would like in a partner.
• Think about what you truly seek from a relationship.

Talk to Your Children

Needless to say, when you are dating as a single parent the wellbeing of your children should always come first, and your kids need to know this. Making them feel safe and loved will ensure that when you introduce another person into their lives, the process will be smooth and easy, and they won’t feel jealous.

Ensure Your Children Feel Secure and Prioritized

It is important for your children to feel at ease with the prospect of another person coming into their lives, no matter their age. Take time and show them affection and communicate to them that they are an important part of your life. If they are old enough, let them know why you are re-entering the dating scene, to help them relax and understand that you would not introduce someone into their lives that they would not approve of.

Provide Reassurance and Support

Allow your children to share their feelings about mum or dad dating and how this might be affecting them. Try to involve your children in some of the decisions you make around dating, so they don’t feel like that part of their lives is completely outside of their control. Always be candid and open with your kids, and they will reciprocate that honesty. Reassure them of your love and commitment. Help them understand that mum or dad dating doesn’t change your relationship with them, and that they remain your top priority.

Listen to Your Kids

Encourage open conversation, especially if you get the feeling that your children are worried about you. It is important that you listen to their concerns and take them seriously during this new phase in their lives.  Validate their emotions and worries by acknowledging their fears and discussing them openly.

Managing Your Time

Dating as a single parent is a whole new ball game – one that requires careful planning. Try to create a schedule that allows quality time with your kids and plan dates during times that don’t interfere with your parental responsibilities. Rather than asking family and friends to “babysit”, ask them to take your kids out for the day or evening, turning it into a positive experience for your kids. From a day at the zoo to pizza or movie night – there are plenty of fun things your kids will love. This balance helps in maintaining a harmonious family environment while you pursue your romantic interests.

Have Age-Appropriate Conversations

Ensure that your discussions around dating are age appropriate. Try not to use big words and complex sentences with young children. Instead use simple terms to explain why you are dating and the type of person you might be looking to meet.

Equally, do not give too much information. When you are a single parent dating, it can be tempting to use your older children as a sounding board. This can be overwhelming for youngsters and cause unnecessary worry. Call family or friends if you feel the need to offload or get advice. In essence, make certain that your kids know what is going on in your dating life but without overloading them with details.

Be Honest with Your Date

It is wise to be straight with your date and tell them from the word go that you are a single parent. This will create a basis of trust and help define an understanding and expectation of mutual honesty. Other important communicate strategies when dating are:

Be Open about Responsibilities and Constraints

Ensure that potential partners are aware of your availability and the extent to which you are willing to go to make time for them early on. It is wise to be as truthful as you can when it comes to what you expect from a relationship so that their expectations will not be unrealistic and cause friction later.

Your date might be a single parent themselves and be very understanding of your situation. However, their day to day responsibilities might still look different, for example if their children don’t live with them full time, are teenagers, or are at boarding school. Try to find out how they envisage fitting you into their schedule and versa. If they are not a single parent, tell them about the difficulties and accomplishments of being a single parenthood to help build understanding and compassion.

Post a Candid Online Dating Profile

If you are looking for love online, ensure that the picture and other details you post online are up to date and truthful. There is nothing worse than posting a photo of a much younger version of yourself and seeing the disappointment in your date’s face.

Most of all, don’t hide the fact that you are dating as a single parent when you are listing your profile. Emphasize your values, and which attributes you seek in a partner to ensure that like-minded people are attracted to you. Honesty can work as a magnet and attract partners with the same views and values.

Enlist the help of a good friend to ensure you create a perfect dating profile. By that we meant that both the description of yourself and your photo should be favourable, but also recent and accurate. There is no point in pretending you are leading a lifestyle that you are not. The truth will come out eventually. You would not want your date to pretend they are someone else, so be honest with them.

Communicating with your Date

Communication plays a vital role in relationships, and it all starts with dating!

Clear Communication

When dating as a single parent, being open about your expectations and boundaries is crucial. This is easier said than done, especially when you have come out of a long term relationship and are seriously lacking practice! If you are nervous during your first date, smooth pick up lines might help break the ice. Choose something playful or tell a joke to create a friendly atmosphere. Don’t go for anything too cheesy or risky at this stage.

Expectations and Boundaries

It is important to be open and clear with your date about your expectations and vice versa. Balancing your time between dating, working, and parenting requires efficient time management and organization. Make sure to be clear that you will not always be available, but at the same time reassure your date that you will prioritise the people close to your heart. Make it sound like a challenge to win you over, rather than making yourself sound unavailable.

Two-Way Communication

Communication is a powerful tool, and one that needs to be mastered. Make sure you actively listen to your date. Make a mental note about their work, family, life, interests, etc. Ask them questions about themselves. Do not talk exclusively about yourself or your children. There is a fine balance between sounding interesting and self-centred.

Needless to say, if your date talks exclusively about themselves, and doesn’t ask about your life, alarm bells should ring. Of course, they might be shy or lack certain social skills, but communication is a two way street, and this is not a good indicator of things going in the right direction.

Communicating with a New Partner

Setting Expectations

If you understand each other’s expectations, this will reduce the potential for emotional upheavals and conflict during dating and any relationship. Try to discuss the future of the relationship that you both want to have openly. It will be important to know what each of you wants from the relationship to ascertain compatibility. Yet even when you know what to expect from your partner, it will require regular communication with one another to ensure that you are still on the same page.

Resolving Conflicts

You have no doubt had some relationships in your life, and experience has taught you a trick or two. If you haven’t already learnt how to manage conflict, here are some tips to help you resolve disagreements with your date or partner:

• Don’t just talk – try to listen, too.
• Always maintain respect for the other person. This includes not raising your voice, and not attacking them for their choices or even their character.
• Avoid blaming and shaming.
• Focus on finding solutions rather than dwelling on problems or mistakes made.
• Be prepared to compromise if this means meeting the other person’s needs.

Handling Rejection

Building Emotional Resilience

Building resilience to handle rejection gracefully is important. Learn and grow from each experience. Accept that rejection is a part of dating. Use the experience as an opportunity to learn. Reflect on what went wrong and what you can do differently. Use this insight to avoid past dating mistakes and improve your approach to dating.

Learning from Experience

If you are not sure what you are doing one, delve deeper into your dating and relationship history. Reflecting on past dating experiences can provide valuable insights, as can analysing past relationships. Try to identify patterns. Understanding your role in past relationships’ dynamics can also help you make better choices in the future. Apply lessons learned to current and future relationships.

Coping with the Ups and Downs of Single Parent Dating

Dating as a single parent may come with some challenges, so be sure to equip yourself with the right tools to handle some highs and lows:

Emotional Support

Make sure you have an emotional support system, such as a few trusted friends who you can consult for advice, so you do not get tempted to confide in your kids who should not be burdened with their parent dating. If you have unresolved childhood or relationship traumas, you might want to consider professional advice, i.e. therapy to help you understand the emotions and difficulties you are facing when dating with kids.

Positive Mindset

Keeping a positive attitude is essential. Don’t let a negative dating experience stop you from seeking love. There will be highs and lows on your dating journey, but it can be an exciting time, with many fun and enjoyable moments. You will meet interesting people on the way, laugh a lot, and learn so much about yourself. Just because one date doesn’t work out, doesn’t mean that there isn’t the perfect person for you out there waiting for you! Focus on the benefits and the rewards and enjoy the process, including the little victories and compliments along the way.

Dealing with Stress

Dating as a single parent should not feel like it is adding an extra element of stress to your already busy life. Make sure you have the time and a positive mindset to be able to incorporate dating in your life. If you do, and the stress of juggling parental responsibilities, work, house chores etc. with dating, you could try out some stress management techniques, such as:

• relaxation techniques, such as mediation or yoga
• mindfulness apps
• learning to prioritise and set boundaries
• practising self-care
• exercising

Conclusion

No matter how awkward or daunting dating as a single parent will feel at first, try to keep a positive mindset and enjoy the journey. You will learn a lot about yourself and others when meeting new people which will help you with future dates. As you go on more dates, you will find that you are more relaxed and able to enjoyable the moment more. Your judgement will also improve and when the right person comes along, you will be ready to take the next step in your dating journey.

The post Dating as a Single Parent: Everything You Need to Know appeared first on SINGLE PARENTS ON HOLIDAY LTD.

Dating in the era of coronavirus: How lockdown, tiers and social distancing have changed dating:

As a result of the COVID-19 pandemic, social distancing has become the new normal. Not to mention months of lockdown, the impact of a new tier system and now the second wave of coronavirus resulting in a new national lockdown (or circuit breaker / fire-break for some). But what does this mean for love? How does social distancing, tiers and lockdown affect online dating? What are the pros and cons of online dating during coronavirus?

Social distancing forces people to invent new ways to search for and maintain relationships. While some lovers are finding it difficult to meet due to restrictions in their tiers or lockdown, some couples are having to get married with their family and friends watching online. How can singles looking for love, or lovers living apart, meet and date? And how does the coronavirus crisis affect single mums and single dads dating?

Protective COVID-19 measures may physically separate us, but this doesn’t mean that we should give up on love. The pandemic may have forced us to find new ways to meet and date, so why not embrace change, and make the most of the new normal whilst staying safe?

The benefits of online dating during COVID-19

Technology has opened up a lot of new opportunities for us all. With the Internet’s help, you can find dates quickly and easily, or just communicate and have fun with new people from anywhere around the world. And there are so many advantages to online dating:

• It’s convenient: Users can set selection criteria in order to find a match, so you don’t have to sort through countless potentially unsuitable dates, let alone meet a stranger just to find out he or she is not at all what you were looking for. This is particularly important when you are a single mum or dad dating and you do not want to waste time and money on babysitters.
• It’s safe: Meeting other singles, even when it’s in a public place and social distancing, bears some risks during a pandemic. Online dating is safe: You can meet singles from the convenience of your own home which at present is the safest way to meet and find out if a person is right for you. With instant messaging technology, your potential soulmate is only ever a click away, if you want to wait and find out more.
• It’s easy: Dating sites and apps are usually very user-friendly as they were designed for all ages and technical abilities. Platforms are usually concise and easy to use, so you don’t need to be a whizz kid to use them.
• It’s cheap: Many dating sites are free, at least the basic membership, and this feature attracts a lot of users.
• It’s quick: Most singles will agree that it’s much easier to go online and search for a date than to go to a social event and just hope you run into your perfect match. Even busy professionals and stressed out single parents can fit online dating into their schedule.
• It’s specific: If you have a special interest or orientation, you can sign up to a niche site, such as a single parent dating site, one for tall people or one for dog lovers: There is something out there for almost everyone.
• It suits different personalities: Online communication allows even the most introverted person to feel less nervous and inhibited and maintain some distance until they feel confident to meet in person. And if you are picky, you are also in the right place, as the dating sites’ algorithms help find dates most suitable for you so you are not wasting your time. You can even block any unwanted admirers.

You might wonder where to start if you are new to online dating. Browsing a few free sites to see if there is someone you like, is as good an introduction as any. The rest is easy: A super simple registration process, and off you go. You can stay anonymous if you’re just browsing or create a 5-star dating profile, complete with photo – the choice is yours. Most sites will match you up with compatible options based on your profile and interests, so it’s worth giving as much information about your personality and interests as possible. To get more information about a possible match before meeting up in person, you should consider using video chat or instant messages.

If you spend a lot of time on your phone, you might prefer a dating app, which can be used on your PC as well as your mobile phone. Try sending a virtual gift to attract someone’s attention. Or, if you are shy, an old-fashioned “hello” works just as well!

How to navigate meeting your date during Covid

Modern society is dynamic and adaptable, even during the coronavirus pandemic. For many people, the switchover to working from home has been stressful and provided even less time for romance. It would be easy for dating to take a back seat during this time, especially if you are a single mum or dad, but, for many, online dating has become a sweet escape from reality.

So, what should you do if you are single or a single parent dating during Covid? Well, for one, you should stick to the social distancing guidelines in your area. You can try to go on a date in the park, not the pub or an equally crowded place. An outdoor pursuit, such as a walk or a picnic or a fun activity, such as roller skating are also great ideas as they can create a more relaxed atmosphere than a serious tête-à-tête indoors does, where you are watching each other’s every move. So, here is where dating during Covid can be fun.

Aside from being sensible and observing social distancing, singles in the UK now also must adhere to the new local restrictions. So, what does lockdown and the regional lockdown tiers, which come back into force on December 2nd, mean for dating and fledgling relationships? Let’s find out:

What does national lockdown mean for dating?

With lockdown imminent in England and already in force in Wales, singles in the UK might feel that their love life has to be put on hold yet again. However, the national lockdown starting on 5 November (in England) is not as strict as the first and lets us enjoy a little bit more freedom. There are fewer blanket restrictions in place and it’s more like a fourth tier according to Home Secretary Dominic Raab. For example, you are now are now allowed to meet one person outside for “recreation” as well as exercise. This means you could meet new dates for a walk in the park, a hike or a bike ride, for example. Find out what interests you have in common and get creative! Naturally, social distancing rules continue to apply.

Whilst pubs, restaurants and entertainment venues are closed, and meeting indoors is prohibited, you do have the option to form an exclusive support bubble for the duration of lockdown if you want to take things further. So, things are not as grim for singles dating once you think about it. It has caused many couples to experience high speed relationships, leading to engagement rings only months into the relationship.

What do tier 3 lockdown restrictions mean for dating?

With the national lockdown ending on 2 December, the country will revert back to a tier system. For those  who will be living in a tier 3 area, indoor dates may be out of the question, however, singles can still go on social distancing dates outdoors, such as the park, countryside, public garden, beach, etc. Most bars and pubs must close but, one way or another, meeting in a bar, or other public indoor or outdoor setting is not allowed. This includes private gardens.

If you are in a relationship but live apart or have recently started dating someone, you could form a support bubble with your partner/date providing at least one of you is single living alone or a single mum or dad living alone with kids under 18 and providing neither of you is in a support bubble with another household. Once you have formed a bubble, you can meet indoors, and social distancing rules do not apply. It’s important to bear in mind that you cannot change your support bubble and that it should be with someone living locally where possible. Children of single parent families can move between two parents living apart, even if the other household does not form part of your support bubble.

What do tier 2 lockdown restrictions mean for dating?

Rules for tier 2 are similar to those in tier 3, i.e. no indoor dates, staying overnight or sex unless you are in a support bubble.

However, you can meet a date anywhere outdoors, including a private garden or a hospitality setting, such as a bar or a restaurant as long as you observe social distancing rules.

What do tier 1 restrictions mean for dating?

Once lockdown ends and we revert back to the tier system, those singles living in tier 1 can breathe a sigh of relief.  The rule of 6 indoors or outdoors applies as before lockdown. Social distancing has to be maintained unless you live together, are in a support bubble or an “established relationship” – the only exception to social distancing.

The pitfalls of online dating

Despite the many advantages of online dating, there are a few downsides to note:

• For one, you don’t always know if someone is who they say they are based on their profile or even profile picture. People and cameras can lie!
• You could spend a long time talking to someone who never commits to an in-person date
• To get the best results, you also need to put in the work. Be thorough when filling in your profile. The matching algorithms are smart, but they can only go by the information you provide.
• Watch out for catfishing. Unfortunately, we can’t always know who is on the other side of the screen, and (though rare) there are fraudsters out there.

Communicating on the Internet has so many perks, but it still pays to be cautious. It’s not always obvious when someone is embellishing their stories or posting pictures that are several years out of date. Also, you can’t always be sure that people are who they say they are online. Always tell a friend where you’re going or meet in a public place when meeting someone you’ve only spoken with online.

Another downside of online dating is that it is not the same as meeting face to face. We can build a false picture of someone in our mind, just to find out that when we meet them in person, the connection we have built up, is no longer there or maybe wasn’t real.Online dating has long become a normal part of modern life. Many friends have a story to tell – sometimes fun, sometimes embarrassing and sometimes heart-warming. Some anecdotes are hilarious, others cringeworthy, yet others are about meeting and marrying a soulmate. If the coronavirus pandemic has taught us one thing, then it is the importance of social interaction. And since it is no longer possible to look for love in crowded places, online dating is the modern way to meet and date for the foreseeable future.

Have you tried online dating, or are you going to try? Tell us your story in the comments.

Here are some more articles from Single Parents on Holiday that might interest you:

• Our Top Single Parent Dating Tips
• Tips for Dating as a Single Mum
• Our Single Parent Dating Guide
• Where to Meet Single Parents for Dating

The post Coronavirus and Online Dating: How to Look for Love During a Pandemic appeared first on SINGLE PARENTS ON HOLIDAY LTD.

How to go about dating when you are a single mum.

Being a single mum does not mean you have to give up on dating. Gone are the days when widows and divorcees were expected to devote their lives to the kids and stay on their own for as long as their children were young. We live in an age of equality (or at least as close as possible to equality as we ever have been) and there is no reason, why you cannot be a devoted mum and date at the same time. After all, no one would query a single dad if they went on a date or had a new girlfriend, would they? But now about the practicalities: How do you go about dating as a single mum?

Finding the time

This is the hardest part for many single mums. According to single parent statistics, 90% of single parent households are headed by single mums. That means single mothers have to divide time between work, chores and children. This can be exhausting, and many single mums feel that they simply do not have the energy to pack more into their day. This is entirely understandable, but for the sake of your mental health and your own happiness, you must give yourself some down time. This can be when the kids are in bed, or if you are lucky to have them around – dad or relatives. Use this time and prioritise according to your needs or mood: Read a book, speak to a friend, chat to a potential date, or even go out with a new man.

Regaining your confidence

Any newly single mum will know the feeling: Your confidence has been knocked for six. Whatever the reasons for your single parent status, suffering through a bad relationship or years of grieving, will have undermined your confidence.  So, take things slowly and never feel pressurised by anyone, least of all a man. If you have the courage, you could ask your friends to set you up on a blind date. Or you could go online and browse and chat at your leisure. Then when you feel ready, embark on your first date. With every date, your confidence will grow. And with increasing confidence, you will become happier within yourself, which will make you more attractive to the other sex.

Speaking of confidence, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Nobody is perfect, we all know that, but also, we have to be kind to ourselves. Do more of the things that make you happy! Read your favourite book, get your hair done, or buy yourself that awesome piece of jewellery from Moon Magic, that you’ve always wanted.

Being upfront

Honesty goes a long way when it comes to dating. You hear a lot about men (and women) being dishonest about their age, personal situation, or financial means. This is usually down to insecurity and fear of being rejected at the first hurdle. If you worry that your potential date is not interested in dating a single mum, for example, then he is simply not right for you and you are wasting your time. So, be upfront and make clear that you will not tolerate lies yourself. And remember – it only takes a little common sense to spot the liars. Honesty is the basis of any relationship, and this must be there from the beginning. 

Setting objectives

This sounds very pragmatic, but it is a good idea to think about what you are looking for before you embark on your dating journey. Are you looking for a father to your children? Or a life partner for you? Do you want more children or are you long past the baby stage? Maybe you just want to meet someone for the odd night out and see where it takes you?

It’s important to be clear about what you expect to avoid disappointment. A single dad with kids of his own, will understand your situation, for example when babysitters fall through, your kids are sick, or your ex is giving you trouble. If you feel, you need an understanding and compassionate man, then single parent dating might be for you. If however you are looking for a father for your own children or would like more kids of your own, it might be wise to look for a mature single man or possibly a man whose kids are grown up – because a single dad with young children will always prioritise his own.

Game-playing? No, thank you!

You would think that is the easy answer, but women often find themselves sucked into the dating game far too easily. You start chatting, speak on the phone, go for a few dates and just when you are hooked, he pulls away. It’s a game of control that will leave you insecure, questioning where you have gone wrong, hurt and longing for the romantic future you had just started to dream up.

This is the point at which you should run a mile, because a man who plays the hot-cold game rarely possesses the skills required for a solid relationship. Yet many single mums join in the game-playing because they are now emotionally involved and have invested time and effort to get to that point of the dating game. They are just not ready to give up so easily.

The only way to save you from becoming an emotional wreck when dating a hot-cold guy, is the direct approach because you have nothing to lose: Ask him why his behaviour has changed and be prepared to deal with the answer. It’s always better to cut your losses and save your precious time for a date that still goes strong after several weeks or months and is easy to date.

Dating as a single mum is not easy, especially when faced with the social restrictions in place during the COVID-19 pandemic. But maybe this is a blessing in disguise: Single mums are, more often than not, looking for a serious relationship. Social distancing rules mean they can take more time to date online and think more carefully about who to meet and in which setting. This can take the pressure off for many single mums dating.

What has your experience been dating as a single mum and how has COVID-19 influenced how you date?

If you enjoyed reading our post, check out more single parent dating tips from Single Parents on Holiday here:

• Single parent dating – where do you start?
• Tip tips for creating a 5-star dating profile
• Is online dating safe for single parents?

For more information about holidaying with other single parent families, go to Fabulous Single Parent Holidays in the UK and Abroad.

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A step-by-step guide to the perfect online dating profile.

When I was last dating, it was the mid-nineties, and a different time. The internet still whistled at all of us; builders still whistled at women. And people dating still met at work, through friends and in bars. Twenty-odd years and one divorce later, I’m dating again, this time as a single parent, and things have changed. Although single parents meet in those more traditional spaces, online has colonised dating just as it has everything else in our lives.

To get online dating right, whether you are a single parent or not, you need to know how to create a 5-star dating profile that will reel other singles in. There’s no generic rule for this. But as a single dad with a couple of years’ experience of these sites, I’ve learnt a few tips and tricks to catch the right person’s eye.

Here, then, are some broad-brush rules for creating a 5-star dating profile as a single parent:

The importance of an online dating profile photo

First impressions count. Single parent or not, your primary online photo is the most important part of your overall sale by far. Dating profiles backed up by good images get four times more responses. Use 3-6 photos, including a favourable headshot for your primary photo smiling straight into the camera to create eye contact and connect with the viewer. If you can, have your online dating photos done by a professional photographer. You’ll be glad you made the investment, and I am sure you will find use for them beyond your dating profile. If you don’t want to spend, get someone you know and trust to take your online dating photos. You’ll be more relaxed, and it will show in your facial expression.

Pair relaxed images taken on holiday or soon after with sports and out and about in nature for the full-body shots if possible, with a mix of different hairstyles and clothing. Ladies – a tip from the other sex: Wear make-up, even if you wouldn’t do so normally.

Avoid the Facebook pout and mobile selfies like the plague, and don’t try to be too sexy. When I started online dating as a single parent, I quickly realised that while I wanted to find out early on what someone looked like, yet it was gentle, real features I was looking for rather than a sex goddess or someone twenty years younger. Other single parents I’ve spoken to since agreed: They wanted someone similar to them, trustworthy, who understood their experience and wasn’t going to disappear just as they start to open up again – and not Brangelina.

Of course, you will need to find a person attractive, and will refer back to these images constantly while reading. They complete the overall picture of the person, so to speak. So, use images that make you credible and are not overly posed. Then you’ll achieve a good balance and back-up to your written dating profile.

How to write a 5-star dating profile

Writing a personal introduction (a.k.a. “About me”)

Alongside your photos, getting your personality across in your dating profile is a big one, so avoid twee clichés. Give a snapshot of the real you. Be expressive and sensitive in your introduction, but don’t make it too ‘fortune cookie’. I’ve found being honest about yourself and a little inventive connects well with other single parents. Try outlining in your dating profile, where you’d like the next few years in your life to go, and drop in one or two unexpected, slightly funky ideas, without being so arrogant as to try to define all the rules. Example: As a newly single parent, you’d like to keep ordinary city life as a base while also spending one weekend a month exploring new places? Give your potential date something and someone fun, reliable and outside-the-box to enjoy. Now they’re excited and clicking on ‘Smile’.

“The things that are important to me” section of your dating profile

We all love our children, of course, and whether or not you are looking to date another single parent, you will need and want to get that across in your single parent dating profile. But go beyond saying that alone. A nicely written section here should succeed in drawing a mental picture for the reader of the type of person you are, for example how you’re not easily moved in your decisions but listen to your nearest and dearest, and other endearing sides of your character. Bolt these things onto your continuing love for the family.

Be interesting, but don’t just try to sound perfect. Like travelling to a far-flung place and doing volunteer work once there? Say that. Like reading the paper and staying in bed on Sundays? That’s OK. Can’t live without your country music collection? There will be someone else out there who shares your music taste. If you are quirky, get that across. Writing a 5-star dating profile is not about portraying perfect.

“The things I should do more often”

Self-deprecating often works here, without needy or passive. Using humour in your dating profile is always good, in my experience, and is a nice way to say other things about yourself (“should get to the gym more than twice a week”, “finally write my novel”). Feed them positive details in an unpretentious but interesting way.

“Something I don’t like about myself is…”

People will appreciate your honesty here, of course, but again, use it as a space to demonstrate how you do listen to people, and are aware of your flaws or even the need to change (which many of us find difficult to admit). This plants the seed of a caring, realistic partner who isn’t so arrogant as to think they don’t mess it up sometimes too. Because we all do. It’s all good stuff for the single parent reader, who may have experienced something else in the past.

“I would describe my appearance as…”

This section of your dating profile is a tough one, as we all want to look great, but in reality don’t all look fabulous, unfortunately. Don’t forget they’re probably checking out your photos by now as well, but don’t worry – they are human (and therefore normal-looking) themselves. As mentioned earlier, what’s on the inside – i.e. whether you would be a reliable and faithful partner – is much more important to most single parents I’ve met than hooking up with a model. Couch it in non-arrogant terms – “Not too bad for 51!” – accompanied by a photo of yourself looking decidedly good for 51, and you can’t go far wrong.

“A place I really feel at home in is…”

I’ve found that rather than just writing “on top of a mountain” or “in New York” or similar, a short piece that appeals to all the senses, i.e. “on a terrace with someone special, breathing in and listening to the sea…” tells them you love the beach, give you a chance to include the “actually doable time away from city life” plan described above, and turns people on more. Don’t let yourself get smug or pretentious with the description, however.

“A positive feature of mine…”

A really good single parent dating profile will strike a balance between highlighting your positive features in as interesting a way as possible – “Prefer social situations in which everyone enjoys equal status; fair is cool” – and immature bragging. Describe yourself as a superhero too quickly, and you’ll almost definitely live to regret it. At the same time, don’t go in saying “There’s nothing great about me” either, because first of all it’s not true, and secondly nothing is guaranteed to turn people off quicker than negativity. Wherever possible, use humour and turn of phrase to slip other choice details in your dating profile, especially ones you know will matter to another single parent.

Your dating profile continued: leisure time and sports

As always, be honest, but if possible, try to use humour and give your potential date information. Don’t just say “I play the guitar” for instance; say “I play the guitar and murder Mrs Robinson every evening”. Now they know it and are looking forward to your jamming, but you’ve also made them laugh – two wins for the price of one.

And lastly: What not to say in your dating profile

Finally, one thing I’ve definitely learnt from reading other 5-star dating profiles is, to be positive about your ex at all times. Ideally, don’t mention them, but if the subject does arise, be nice. Chances are, you were both victims of separation or divorce, and now get on as friends. Don’t carry the experience around with you for the rest of your life in a briefcase marked “bitterness”. Rise above it, use words that look to a positive future, and the reader will think more of you for it.

Online dating as a single parent may not be for everyone, but if you want to give it a go, try to create a 5-star dating profile: It is your entry ticket to the world of dating and potentially meeting your soulmate. Don’t forget, there is someone out there for everyone, and there is nothing wrong with looking for your match proactively. Be the one to choose, don’t wait to be chosen!

Happy dating!

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Please note that this is a guest post. 

If you want to find out more about single parent dating, why not head over to:

• Single Parents on Holiday’s dating site
• A single parent dating guide
• How to meet singles through online dating and what to do next
• Online dating for single parents – is it for you?

The post Top Tips for Creating a 5-Star Dating Profile appeared first on SINGLE PARENTS ON HOLIDAY LTD.

Is online dating for single parents for you?

Dating can be a minefield, as most singles will tell you. But once you are a parent and your priorities have shifted (and your social life with it), it’s certainly true that finding that special someone can become even more of a challenge.

The dilemma – where to meet single parents / singles

To start with, where do you meet a potential partner? In your 20s and 30s, singles might meet at work, at a bar, on a Saturday night or at a friend’s party. You are now in your 40s or 50s and it’s not as straightforward as it used to be. If you work in an office, you might have a chance to spot someone you like but, when in the past you might get to know each other a little better over a few after-work drinks or a lunch session at the gym, now you are a solo parent, time for yourself has become a luxury. After all, now as a single parent you are one of the first to rush out of the office to pick up the kids from nursery / childminder / grandparents, etc. after your working day has ended. Even if your kids are older, weekends and evenings are not your own.

The worry – dating with kids

The second biggest obstacle for single parents dating is when to tell your date that you have kids. Should you get it out in the open before you even go on the first date, get to know him or her better (in the hope of encouraging a more favourable response), or keep it a secret as long as possible (and risk having wasted a fair amount of time when he or she runs a mile)?

A safe way for a first meetup – online dating for single parents

Whether or not you are a single parent, online dating saves you both these dilemmas. Not only is everything about you out there from the beginning, but you also know a lot about your potential date from day 1. This saves both of you time and effort – and sounds terribly pragmatic. Just think of all the upsides: You can both look at each other from afar and decide what or who might work for you, chat, flirt and speak on the phone from the safety of your own home (and with the kids tucked into bed) before you embark on that first date to see if the chemistry matches the initial impression.

Decide what you want to want – and go for it

If you are a single parent and want to give online dating a go, think about what you are looking for to figure our which dating site works for you: Do you want to meet only single parents online or would you be open to meet singles without kids? Would you like to meet single parents for friendship initially, are you after a serious relationship ? Maybe you prefer a casual date, such as another single parent who you can meet occasionally, or you are looking for someone in a similar profession? Single Parents on Holiday’s dating website is a safe and convenient way to find the person that is right for you. You can apply filters to find the right person, and joining is absolutely free. You only need to pay once you have had a good browse around and decide that there is someone who tempts you and who you wish to meet.

Whatever you choose to do, be selective, read the advice on safe dating and … enjoy yourself! And if you have any tips or ideas for other single parents that you would like to share on the topic of #singleparentdating, use the comments below or join in the conversation on social media using the hashtag #singleparentsuk.

Another way to meet single parents is on holiday.  Single Parents on Holiday offer various single parent family holidays as well as singles holidays, which give you the opportunity to meet single parents for friendship and more. There has even been a wedding! To find out which holidays we have on offer for single parents and children go to single parent holidays. For holidays for singles without kids go to solo holidays.

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