How to read your date’s body language to find out if he or she likes you…
Navigating the dating scene can be a nightmare, especially if you are a single parent dating. It’s hard enough dating in your 20s or 30s. But when you have just come out of a long-term relationship and have children, it can be even more difficult and quite confusing, too. Suddenly you have a history, are less flexible, and have little time – and worst of all, find the whole dating malarkey rather unnerving and confusing. You are so out of practice, that you are struggling to figure out if your neighbour/work colleague/friend’s friend is just being polite or actually seriously interested in you. So, how do you read the signs?
As a newly single parent, you might lack dating practice, but you have age and experience on your side – and the internet. You no longer have to go out to countless events trying to scan venues for your potential soulmate. Instead you have dating websites to help you gain some valuable experience chatting, meeting, and dating men or women looking for love. And you have the internet to teach you all about gender differences and behaviours. Understanding yourself and others better can become your secret weapon in your search for your soulmate! And to help you get started on this journey, we would like to help you read your date’s body language, so that you can tell if he or she is interested in you – the signs are unmistakable, you just need to know what to look for:
Reading his body language
How good are you really at interpreting your date’s body language? You might think you are a natural, but I bet you can still learn some tricks from us. Reading someone’s body language takes practice, and there can be false positives in some cases. You need to use that skill in combination with other factors. Is he leaning away from you because he is not interested, or is it his bad back? One sign alone, could be a false alarm. The key is looking for consistency and reading the signs in context.
Although there are actions universal to both genders, there are differences in the way men and women use body language. Here are a few body language signs that can indicate that a man is into you:
- he raises his eyebrows for a fraction of a second. Easy to miss but a definite clue that he likes you (this is called “eyebrow flashing”)
- he grooms himself running his hand through his hair, smoothes his tie or lapel or straightens his shirt (“preening”)
- his eyebrows remain raised as he talks to you – he is showing interest in what you have to say
- his lips part momentarily when you lock eyes
- his posture is erect when he stands
- his legs are parted when he is sitting
- he changes his stance leaning forward to show that he is listening, possibly perching on the edge of the chair
- his facial expression changes: he smiles or laughs when you tell a joke, he looks miserable when you tell a sad anecdote. It shows he is engaged in the conversation and listening intently.
- he fidgets – maybe he plays with his watch, or the buttons on his shirt. It is a sign that he is either nervous or has excess energy – in either case, this is a positive sign.
- his pupils are dilated – you might have to look closely but this is a sure sign that he likes you. If the room is dark, it might be the lighting, so read this cue in combination with other signs.
Reading her body language
Of course, there are some overlaps with male body language, and not every woman displays the same behaviours. Talking about differences, take this example: Whilst fidgeting on a date shows a man might be nervous and most likely has a thing for you, fidgeting in women more often shows that she is uncomfortable or annoyed.
And whilst not every woman acts the same in any given situation, there are some behaviours that most women have in common. Here are some of those unmistakable signs that a woman is interested in you:
- her posture is ‘open’ i.e., no legs crossing or arms folding, instead she faces you
- her back is arched
- she leans forward as she listens and moves closer
- she smiles and laughs often, even at your worst jokes
- she plays with her hair curling or twirling it or flipping or tucking it behind her ears or shoulders in an unconscious attempt to draw more attention to her face
- she initiates body contact – women are more inclined to touching than men
- her fingers touch or rub the rim or stem of her glass of wine or another random object, she massages neck, she plays with her jewellery
- she seeks eye contact and might looks at you often and even intensely
- she has animated facial expressions
- she uses a lot of gestures to emphasize her point
- she mirrors your movements
If you notice a woman displays several of the above behaviours not just once but repeatedly, then she is probably attracted to you. As sure as these signs might be, if she spent the whole evening talking about herself, never asking you any questions about your life, then she is probably not sincerely interested in you as a person. So, all actions have to be read in conjunction.
Practice makes perfect
Don’t forget to use your common sense. If you are unsure whether someone is into you, he or she probably isn’t. If you click on that first date, and feel easy around each other, then it’s a very good sign and you don’t need to worry about body language. But women, in particular, tend to overthink things, and analyse every word and movement of their date. This is where it is incredibly helpful to observe your date’s non-verbal communication. It will give you some really useful clues.
You could even test him or her by flirting and checking their reaction. If you don’t get a positive response from the first attempt, he or she might just be shy. If 2 or 3 attempts don’t yield any results, you might want to leave it there and walk away.
Practice makes perfect. The best way to pick up on these body language signals is by going on a lot of dates. Reading your date’s body language will become second nature before long. So, get a few dates lined up, whether it’s through friends or an online dating site, and start having fun reading your date. I often observe couples in restaurants, and it can be really fascinating. Whatever you do, have fun, and enjoy the process!
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